Friday, May 7, 2010

Going Epic: My First--Totally Unsolicited--Blogtastic Book Review

(Snobbie's book, nudity censored. See the uncensored cover here.)

Part 1: Cover to Cover

Like many in the cycling--or book-reading--universe, I now own the new book, hand-crafted by BikeSnobNYC. While my copy arrived with the super-not-so-secret stickers, I was surprised to learn that it was not supplied with a dust jacket of any kind.

I wondered if warehouse gremlins had stolen it in a rogue plot to gain legitimacy for their underground ping-pong leagues. Or maybe it was an error in the first pressing that will make all early copies of the book, collectors' items worthy of bubble packaging. Or maybe the book suffered chafing, and opted to 'go commando', instead.

Whatever the reason, I decided I could not allow Snob's publication to live in my place of residence without proper protection. Sure, the book itself seems sturdy enough to handle the kind of punishment any lycra-clad, vegan, road cyclist can dish out, but it wasn't the book I was worried about. No cyclist, who is still fertile, and has spread hipster cysts, is allowed to enter my humble abode without proper protection.

So, I endeavored to build a book-related, raincoat. I went to my engineering cupboard and extracted my trusty, mechanical engineering tools.
This all would be so much simpler, if Snob had bothered to publish on the Kindle.

I crafted the cover first.

And upgraded it with a rear, sketch-mounted, brake lever:
(Not to be confused with a bent 'member' with a raging STD)

Then, I made sure to apply some awesome, hand-crafted, 3M book lugs.
(The fuzzy camera-work cost me extra. Be sure to spend another five-minutes enjoying how this enhances your appreciation of the lugwork.)

So many trees had to die:

If only this book had arrived on the Kindle, instead. I'd probably have finished reading it by now.

I'm not actually ready to open the pages, and start reading yet. I don't know if I can be bothered to. I'm still skimming Voltaire and re-reading the sex scenes.

More to follow.

Ride safe. I love you all.

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